Thursday, 27 September 2018

Self Love and Personal Growth: Rewiring My Feelings Towards Myself.

Lately I've seen a lot of women on social media be hard on their selves... It has taken me until now, 32 years on this earth for me to start questioning the little asshole voice in my head.

I like to think that I love myself.
I like to think that I know what's best for myself.
But do I?

It is a strange thing to question a thought/voice that has been in my head for as long as I can remember, inherited in fact.
Growing up I never heard women around me speak in a positive way about their bodies. I know it has been almost like a trend to complain about "imperfections", forever comparing oneself to celebrities who probably have signed contracts which state how their bodies have to look... But we don't think about anything beyond what we see.

I'm happy to say that my body is functioning at it's best.
My whole life I've struggled with pain and aches.
I know I'm not thin enough for my hardwired image of myself as a 16 year old... But I also know that that's completely ridiculous to even think to compare myself to!

I was way more active, hormonally different and I was skinny for a reason... I barely ate! I was living on alcohol, candy and meal replacement shakes... And I couldn't figure out why I was always feeling so bad as I looked healthy... After a 10 year long health journey I'm finally healthier, I have learned so much about my body and I'm so grateful for all the knowledge I've managed to gather during this time.

Life is strange and our silly brains don't help us much when it comes to the way we feel about ourselves.

You'd think it would be easy to love your own body. That we could easily take the same advice and compliments we give our loved ones... How many times do we look at our loved ones when they ask if they look different and we can't see anything wrong with them, saying " you're crazy, you look great! Stop being so hard on yourself! ".

My goal is to get there.
To be more loving towards my body and be happy for my health.

Wednesday, 26 September 2018

Haul & Review: First Cult Beauty Order!

I've been window shopping at Cult Beauty... For YEARS!
And for whatever reason never actually placed an order until this past month when there was a few things I just couldn't find locally as well as feeling the urge to treat myself a little (as if I suffer normally...).

Lucky for me there was a huge GWP filled with goodies that I wanted to get my hands on (Not featured here as I still haven't opened it). All I had to do was spend £150 which is ridiculously easy once you start looking around at home to make sure you got backups and start the whole "what do I " need"".

So for my first order I got:
A Circu-Lite Squeeze Therapy for legs.
A Body Brush.
Hand Cream.
Perfume set.
Body Cream.
Two Mascaras.
Make-up setting spray with SPF.
Texture Spray.

I've so far used everything except for the two body tools which I'm keeping in their bags until after I move next month.
I'm really exciter for them and got the brush because I've been meaning to get a dry body brush for ages due to my skin being dry in general. And the squeeze therapy thingy is just one of those things I've been eyeing for a long time... I have cellulites and orange peel skin from half my thighs and up, I can easily get away with using shorts but I've not been as active as I used to be in the past 10 years and my skin has changed. A personal preference really, I'm absolutely not ashamed of my cellulites, I've had them since I was around 12 I just want to see if there's actually any merit to this while suction thing as I want to do it on my body as a whole as I age.

So now the reviews.

Hand Cream 75ml £9.30 (on sale):
I absolutely love this hand cream.
I've been using hand creams for most part of my life and I have only come across a handful of truly effective ones in that time, this one included. I use this one at night and it makes my hands feel moisturized and not unpleasantly greasy. The fragrance is not too strong and is botanical which I personally enjoy.

Peter Thomas Roth 
Mega-Rich Nourishing Body Lotion 235ml £17.50:
I like this lotion.
Is it worth the price?
I can't really say... While it ticks the boxes of being odourless and fast absorbing I don't know if I will buy it again. I have dry skin all year round, my skin actually hurts most of the time from being dry so I tend to get rich lotions and this is a very thin consistency. A little does go a long way which it has going for it but I can't tell you how I feel about it quite yet as I've only been using it for a week and a few days. I'm the type of person who will not think twice about the money if something delivers... But I don't know in this case... I'll let you guys know in my empties later this year.

Hair by Sam McKnight 
Cool Girl 250ml £25.00:
So as I was just mentioning above, I invest in good products and I believe I have found an actually gem here.
I have very thick straight hair and my hair strands are thick and very healthy... Anyone who has healthy straight hair will know the pain of flat boring hair. Which is why I always make sure to dry it with my head up side down and I'm not happy until I look like a troll. I want texture and volume.
This is texture and a pinch of volume in a can.
I'm so impressed with how amazing my hair looks, feels and smells with this product! I don't even care about the price, this works and I need 3-4 light sprays for my hair to be transformed. I'm genuinely amazed.

Soleil Toujours 
Organic Set + Protect Micro Mist SPF 30 59ml £34.00:
Living in Zambia, where the sun always shines I need to be extra careful with sun exposure.
I turn lobster red when I'm in the sun or heat in general for more than a few minutes and my skin gets really irritated from the dry heat. So I finally got myself a spray face SPF which very conveniently also sets make-up. Feeling like a really winner with this one. Doesn't leave a residue, no weird sheen, it does smell strong when sprayed but it shouldn't be inhaled anyhow so I just hold my breath for a few seconds. Don't have anything bad to say about it. The size is generous compared to many of the setting sprays with SPF I've seen and this is one of the very few vegan ones I've come across. So far all good.

Classic Rollerball Layering Collection 5 x 5ml £18.00:
Late to the game on these!
I absolutely love these which is really surprising as alcohol based fragrances usually make me feel EXTREMELY nauseated.
I've found three favorites which I'm absolutely getting for me and the husband to share. Love that these are unisex!!!

So there you have it peeps.
That's my reviews for now and I haven't opened my mascaras as I will only do so once my current one runs out, which should be any day now.

All in all this was a successful first order.
Everything came well packed and whole.
I feel good about my purchases and they feel like an investment which is something I have to do while I'm here... Also ageing! Haha. I'm getting older and have to start looking after certain parts of me but I'm honestly really looking forward to it all.

Let me know if you have an thoughts or questions about anything! 

I'll probably do a small unboxing kind of thing of the goodie bag during the weekend that I'll keep in my highlights on Instagram for those who want to see all that (@cynthiaiskillikill).

Thank you for stopping by!
Take care.

Tuesday, 18 September 2018

Haul & mini review: Ve_Cosmetics.

It's been a while since I received my most recent order from Ve Cosmetics. I had a bit of a panic as I was running low on eyeliner so thought I'd take the opportunity to get a few extra bits while I was at it.

My order this time round consisted of a mystery lipstick, Pocket Rocket liner, Feline Good liner, two Witchcraft liquid concealers which have become my favorite formula, a concealer palette and one of the new Majick brow pens. I got two little bonuses in my order as well which I was excited for, a pocket mirror (can never have too many) and a pale shadow which I'll probably be using to set my under eyes.

So while I loved all the things I ordered there was a few issues.
The lipstick (Twin Star) is very drying and applies patchy, it was quite a challenge to get an opaque lip with this one so I will stick to using this it as a liner or mixed with gloss as a bright tint. I have two other lipsticks from this brand and they are really nice so it might just be this one or the shade in general. 

As for the Majick brow pen I struggled with the usual thing one does struggle with when dealing with felt tip liners, it dries out way too fast for my liking. I really love the shade, there's no lack of pigmentation, absolutely smudge and waterproof once it dries down and the tip itself does a great job doing hair stroke like lines. Easy to fix with a drop of water and a bit of patience, patience which I unfortunately don't have for everyday use. 

Not what I expected but I'm also not upset about it. 

Wednesday, 5 September 2018

Review: The Mandela Effect Eyeshadow Palette by The Collective Cosmetics.

I wasn't sure if I was going to do a review of this palette as I didn't buy it. I always feel a bit awkward about that situation and even more as I've been a fan of Beautanica for a really long time, who happens to be one of the owners.

But then, I just said f*ck it!
I almost exclusively use indie make-up now as I find mainstream/commercial make-up incredibly boring! While indies can jump on trends over night, the big guys take months because of their vast distribution.

But enough about that, bet you didn't click your way here to hear me rant about the "big brands" and all that jazz I can rant about for actual days...

This is what it looks like inside.
There's a lot I like about this palette without going into the actual shadows themselves.
It's a sturdy package, it survived without any damage, shadows traveled safely and there was no loose pigment at all in it when it arrived to me here in Zambia. There was even a protective sheet over the shadows which I greatly appreciate as it keeps the mirror clean. The mirror, its an actual mirror which I use when I use this palette. That's a really rare thing. And bonus points for having the name shades both on under the shadows and on the back of the palette. The Collective Cosmetics is a cruelty free and vegan brand.

The Shadows:
As always I've swatched these using primers.
I used Notoriously Morbid's Glitter Adhesive for the shimmers and Darling Girl Cosmetics Primped & Primed balm primer for the mattes which is how I use shadows.
I want to see what's on the pan on my eyes, I'm not the kind that likes a "soft" wash of colour, if I wear make-up, you'll know!

Worth noting:
All the shadows from this brand are handmade so they might not always look the same/be identical. I don't know if Tune and Screaming in my palette was a fluke or not as I've seen nice payoff on others but mine are very hard and softer pigmented than the rest. I don't mind soft pigmentation personally as it's great for building shadows rather then having to blend pigment away and making a mess... Been there way too many times. But I wanted to share that as it might just be my palette.

 Memories: Stunning shimmer. This is probably the shadow I was most surprised by as I didn't have any expectations.
Bright: This is perfection. I've used it as highlighter, topper and on it's own, always looks amazing.
Whispering: Glitter adhesive is a must or you'll miss the whole point of this shadow!
 Tune: Beautiful orange. Easy to work with even though it's very hard pressed in my palette.
2010: Beautiful gold, can't go wrong with this one.
Screaming: Beautiful red, a true red that doesn't blend pink. Again, mine was a bit hard but totally fine for building.
Clone: Duo-chrome red base with green shift. Pretty but probably the only shade I don't care for. 
Coup De Etat: Another star in this palette. Beautiful and easy to work with.
Quiet: A matte black. Very pigmented but can get patchy depending on your base but overall one of the better black shadows I've used.

Overall a beautiful palette.
The only disappointment was Clone but that's mainly because I have quite a collection of this type of shadows which I'm happy with. In would absolutely have wanted a satin pink or aubergine shade in its place. The shimmers preform well, no problems at all with any of the shadows if used over the appropriate kind of primer. I must confess that I have not used these shadows without primer but I just don't do that as my lids are oily and everything vanishes within the hour if I don't prime.

Favorites are definitely Bright, Memories and Tune, even with a hard texture pan it's a nice shade for my collection that I didn't have. I've used it a few times and while it is a softer pigmented shadow it delivers.

That will conclude this review.
Let me know in the comments if you've tried anything from this new indie brand! I'm really curious to hear about your experience with Tune and Screaming as well as knowing what single pans you'd recommend!

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