Thursday, 27 September 2018

Self Love and Personal Growth: Rewiring My Feelings Towards Myself.

Lately I've seen a lot of women on social media be hard on their selves... It has taken me until now, 32 years on this earth for me to start questioning the little asshole voice in my head.

I like to think that I love myself.
I like to think that I know what's best for myself.
But do I?

It is a strange thing to question a thought/voice that has been in my head for as long as I can remember, inherited in fact.
Growing up I never heard women around me speak in a positive way about their bodies. I know it has been almost like a trend to complain about "imperfections", forever comparing oneself to celebrities who probably have signed contracts which state how their bodies have to look... But we don't think about anything beyond what we see.

I'm happy to say that my body is functioning at it's best.
My whole life I've struggled with pain and aches.
I know I'm not thin enough for my hardwired image of myself as a 16 year old... But I also know that that's completely ridiculous to even think to compare myself to!

I was way more active, hormonally different and I was skinny for a reason... I barely ate! I was living on alcohol, candy and meal replacement shakes... And I couldn't figure out why I was always feeling so bad as I looked healthy... After a 10 year long health journey I'm finally healthier, I have learned so much about my body and I'm so grateful for all the knowledge I've managed to gather during this time.

Life is strange and our silly brains don't help us much when it comes to the way we feel about ourselves.

You'd think it would be easy to love your own body. That we could easily take the same advice and compliments we give our loved ones... How many times do we look at our loved ones when they ask if they look different and we can't see anything wrong with them, saying " you're crazy, you look great! Stop being so hard on yourself! ".

My goal is to get there.
To be more loving towards my body and be happy for my health.