Fashion: My capsule wardrobe goals.

I've seen the light!

I used to be one of those people who never wore anything more than once, maybe twice out during my clubbing days. I had not one, but three rooms where I stored my clothing. It became a big problem as I bought more than I would get rid off.

When my string of moves began with me going to live with my love, it quickly became a weird thing in my head. I missed my clutter so much! I moved with only 3 suitcases of clothing. Long story short, it has taken me just over 10 years to "cure" myself from the ridiculous consumer heavy mentality of having more makes you happy.

I have now decided to cut down and have set a goal, it will absolutely be my dream wardrobe with investment pieces rather than fast fashion.

My goal is for my wardrobe to consist of:

• 4 Shawls, I use them a lot around the house when it gets a bit cooler.
• 3 pairs of jeans, I want one skinny, one boyfriend style and a pair of longer baggy short style jeans.
• 10 Basic tops, a mix of t-shirts, tanks and strappy tops in neutral shades such as black, grey, khaki and beige. I can't have white, I'm a slob and always stain everything.
•  6 pairs of shoes, one pair of basic black sneakers, a basic peep toe stiletto, basic everyday ballerina, a pair of running shoes, biker boot and a flashy heel to perk up a basic jeans look.
• 4 Scarves, I love scarves!!! They just make me happy and change an outfit with minimal effort.
• 4 Dresses, I want two wrap dresses (think DvF), a black structured cocktail dress and a maxi dress.
• 4 Cardigans, plain ones with no agenda. Simply to keep warm when I need it.
• 10 Customized t-shirts, I can't imagine a life without my favorite cut shirts.
• 2 Blazers, one black and a checkered one, probably brown or grey.
• 4 Shirts, one basic white cotton shirt, and the rest faux silk shirts for added texture and versatility in my wardrobe.
• 4 Skirts, One flowy maxi summer skirt, one pencil, a flowy evening skirt and a smart casual jeans maxi for evenings/cooler time of the year. I don't really do short skirts anymore, used to love them but prefer shorts now as my body insists on sitting with one foot on the chair...
• 4 pieces of lounge wear, probably sweat pants and a hoodie or something.
• 4 bags, (not including luggage) one daily cross body, a small evening clutch, a shopper and a messenger or backpack for my gadgets.
• Jewelry, Underwear and socks is where I can go nuts.

I really think a small wardrobe is freeing.
I'm really excited about achieving this. It also just allows me to spend more time on my make-up as clothing will be more basic and not competing with my face. All round wins with this project.

I'm trying my best to help myself minimize anxiety in my everyday life. I feel like this will help a lot. And let's be honest, we reach for about half of our wardrobe...

Empties: Spring 2018.

This post always sneaks up on me as I suddenly can't close my "empties box" anymore... So here we go again! Hope you enjoy some of my trash.

By: Essence
What is it: Make-up Fixing Spray.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: I don't mind it for my makeup playtime but I don't think this does anything, I'd rather buy a quality product I can use daily.

By: Dr. Hauschka.
What is it: Two Facial Toners and a Soothing Cleansing Milk.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: I hated the Cleansing Milk, didn't like the result and smelled too much of alcohol. As for the toners, I've had better.

By: Sand & Sky
What is it: Detoxifying + Brightening Clay Mask.
Will I repurchase: Fuck no.
Why: This shit hurt my face so bad. There's a warning on the product which should have been enough for me to not use it at all. Not for me. First time in my life I've had a reaction.

By: Pixi
What is it: Glycolic Acid Toner.
Will I repurchase: Yes.
Why: I feel like it does something to my skin, I only use it at night and my skin has absolutely become more glowing since I started incorporating this into my routine.

By: Pixi
What is it: Glow Booster/Primer.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: I didn't mind it, it's beautiful on its own and mixed into things but I have other "glow" products I prefer right now.

By: Skin Laundry.
What is it: Antioxidant, Vitamin, Peptide Night Serum.
Will I repurchase: Yes.
Why: I wasn't expecting anything from this to be honest but I really enjoyed it because it felt like it was doing something. Definitely helped with my redness overnight.

By: Yes To Cotton.
What is it: Micellar Cleansing Water.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: I've used better and cheaper. I like the idea of the pump but I also don't care.

By: This Works.
What is it: Deep Sleep Pillow Spray.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: I did get a second one already which I'm using. I sleep like shit, I wake up at least 10 times a night and I try anything that's not classified as a drug to help me relax. While I did enjoy the aromatherapy aspect of this, I don't believe it did much as it fades too fast.

By: Pixi
What is it: Minty/Plumping Lip Gloss.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: While I absolutely loved this product and feel like I've found something good I feel like I need to break it off now before I get stuck. I love lip products and have too many things to try before committing!

By: Barry M.
What is it: Waterproof Eyeliner.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: This worked fine for about a week and a half then it just lost pigment, it didn't dry our at all, just no pigment.

By: The Organic Pharmacy.
What is it: Vitamin C and Papaya Mask.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: I did like this a lot, it did gently exfoliate and give results but I have tried better. Pleasant smell as well which is always a bonus as you gotta keep it on your face for a while.

By: Dirty Hippie Cosmetics
What is it: Hemp Lip Balm
Will I repurchase: Yes.
Why: This is my everything balm. It is so damn good to keep around at all times. I was having a lot of dry skin last year and this helped me through it. Lovely texture which feels nurturing and moisturising.

By: Colour Pop Cosmetics.
What is it: Lippie Stix.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: I didn't finish these, I absolutely hated these shades on me. They made me look old, which I've never experienced before and since... Shades were Brink and Goal Digger.

By: Notoriously Morbid Cosmetics.
What is it: Metallic Liquid Lipstick (sample).
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: I loved this formula, the shade was Ethereal and was so flattering. I'd absolutely recommend it but I will personally not buy it again as it's not vegan.

By: Spectral Spirits.
What is it: Shimmering Body Dusting Powder.
Will I repurchase: Yes.
Why: I love this. Nirvana is my favorite fragrance and I used this as a part of my nighttime routine during the summer on my body. It's so pretty and fine. Just a good pampering treat.

By: Dirty Hippie Cosmetics.
What is it: Finishing Powder with SPF.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: I don't really use powder. This was a nice powder when I used it but I just didn't reach for it. As someone with dry skin I rather keep my glow through the day instead of mattifying it.

By: Baby Bat Beauty.
What is it: Gel Liner.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: While this was a great liner for the time I could use it I think I personally prefer a liquid liner. The container is also not the best, it doesn't close tightly but I don't know if that was just for me... Haven't asked the company.

By: Dirty Hippie Cosmetics.
What is it: Mineral Eyeshadows.
Will I repurchase: Yes.
Why: These lasted me FOREVER! It's 5g of product in each and I'm surprised I even managed to get through these as e rate I did. Both fool proof and awesome to use with mixing mediums as I would for some kickass eyeliners.

By: Dirty Hippie Cosmetics.
What is it: Mineral Lipstick.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: I did really enjoy this while I was using it but then it kind of became a forgotten item at the back of my collection. It's really pigmented.

By: Super Drug Calm Skin.

What is it: Hydrating serum & moisturiser.
Will I repurchase: Yes.
Why: I love this. It's probably not the most amazing thing out on the market but I really enjoy how it feels as a finisher to my skincare routine at night. It plays nice with my other products so I'm happy.

Self love and personal growth: Choosing to not call myself vegan.

I've been on a plant based diet for 8 months now and I absolutely love it. Granted that it's a challenge at times in a third world country in the middle of Africa where meat culture dominates, which I find ridiculous for a country that sees itself as Christian (we'll leave this for another time).

I live my life as ethical as I can.
To me that means eating foods which didn't come to be through the manipulation of animals. Spending my money on items which helps an individual instead of a huge corporation when possible. Wearing clothes made by caring hands and brands who don't use slave labour. I do support people buying second hand, I think it's the way to go. I do so for my clothes when possible and try to only buy new accessories and underwear for obvious reasons. I invest in my wardrobe rather than fill it with impulse buys and fast fashion. I always look up a brand before buying and do my best to make sure no animal products were used in my items.

I suffer a lot from tension headaches and body cramps so I do take pills to help me as they just don't go away on their own fast enough. I understand that most medication has been tested in animals, even though it has been said to not be helpful as most animals don't have our physiology, diet, lifestyle and aren't exposed to the same things as us. I also understand that a lot of medication does contain animal derived ingredients. I always do my best to stay clear of these things but realistically, I can't quite yet. I don't know what the future holds but I do hope that we're not to far away from labs without animals and medication without animals... But until then, I will take the medication I need to function as a basic human being.

I try my best using things until they're no longer functional. This is another part where I get into trouble and get into a grey area as I do have a few items in my collection which I bought before my ethical journey began and aren't vegan or slow fashion. I refuse to contribute to pollution by doing something so stupid as purging my life of all non vegan items just because it doesn't fit my new view, it doesn't make sense! If I bought it, I'll use it. Everything I have bought in the past year has been thoroughly looked at an researched before making it into my shopping basket.

Another thing I try to do is buy beauty products which have eco friendly packaging and where possible has the lowest carbon footprint which is really hard for me as I have to get everything sent to me through regular mail plus a courier to get to me in Zambia! I always shop cruelty free and all beauty/food/clothing I buy now is vegan without any exceptions.

The thing that pisses me off now is how negative the term vegan has become due to people preaching aggressively towards those who aren't vegan, people who haven't give thought to what they consume because they just don't question tradition. I don't agree with this behaviour under any circumstances, be it religion, diets, science, politics or anything else. Preaching aggressively will only distance a dialogue which is the most important thing we can have to get on equal ground. I often see terms as "militia vegans" or simply "crazy vegans". Being vegan, in my eyes, is vague, I think it is more of a diet with animals in mind rather than a full ethical way of living at this point. And this is why I don't consider myself vegan, I'm plant based living ethically.

We live in a difficult time where we are constantly being challenged and it can be hard to do what's right and best for the bigger picture when we are taught that having more and fast is a sign of wealth... We have been doing this for so long that the scale has tipped and many don't know what to do anymore as they're stuck with too much, with too little time and shitty health slowly killing themselves and their surroundings.

It's a horrible picture to look at when you take a step back to really reflect on what we've become and how manipulated we are. We're so disengaged from each other, so addicted to our consumption high, so blind to what we do with our bodies... And to our environment in the name of greed. This world is sick. Sick from the disease called instant gratification. We want everything NOW! And we want it cheap. No one stops to ask what they're paying for, what they're eating, what they're truly sponsoring...

Sorry if this post bummed anyone out... Wasn't my intention. I just wanted to clear things up as there has been a lot of debate online. I personally want to be reasonable. I struggle a lot with this as I contradict myself a lot due to still figuring myself out. I don't see that stopping anytime soon as I don't think I'll ever stop questioning and analyzing myself.

But there we go, why I don't call myself vegan... There's just no short way of saying it.

BuJu Life: June.

I still don't quite understand where this year has gone, we're half way through!!! How even?!

One of the things I've been very grateful for this year is figuring out bullet journaling. It has helped me manage my anxiety and has been a fun project to play with for an hour or so in the morning/evening which helps me relax and put things into perspective.

I have finally figured out a spread that works for me!

After lots of trial and error I've managed to narrow down my months to a few pages with the essentials.

Main Spread:

Left: I tried the whole artsy one (even two) page art work but it never really resonated with my needs. I now keep my "title" to half a page from my notepad. Under the title I have my important dates and below that my workout trackers. Took me quite a while to figure this one out as I want to do lots but my body/mind doesn't always let me. So to keep myself from feeling more pressure and then feel bad about missing out I chose to do two activities a week to push myself a bit physically as it helps me clear my mind.

Right: My goals column and media plan. My media plan has turned into a fun page, last month I challenged myself to figure out recording short videos. Took me all month to figure it out to get to a presentable level, I have far to go but I mainly use this page to dive into new things, to keep myself from getting stuck in a rut which is so easy on social media...

Second spread:

Left: Expenses... Not the most fun page but probably one I shouldn't be without. I have a little "Spending Priorities" Post it with the things I want to get for myself or need and also a little "Coming Expenses" to make sure I have a clear idea of what's ahead and what I need to save for.

Right: My body tracker. This has been a very interesting page for me to have. I started this last month and I really enjoy it. I write down how I feel mentally and physically, keeping it short and focusing on what's been good.

Third Spread:

My daily planning/goals/to do. I don't do more than one day at a time. I can't. It stresses me out and makes me not want to use my bullet journal... I have a little note with daily tasks. These daily tasks might seem very straight forward but I have a lot of days when I don't even want to get out the bed... So in an effort to keep myself feeling human I have started this little daily task list. I've only been doing it for two weeks but it has helped. I make sure I look presentable and this keeps me from getting back into bed halfway through the day.

I really like how my spreads are turning out.

It does take time to narrow down the trackers, doodles, calendar etc as you only know what you want once you've tried it. This is only my third month bullet journaling and I already hate the start of my planner! Things will probably change more as I get more used to dedicating time to doing this.