Travel skincare.

Travelling always makes me break out and gets my skin completely out of balance which makes packing a couple of things difficult. I get an extra greasy t-zone, itchy dry cheeks and chin, small irritated bumps...

It felt like a bit of a gamble making these choices as I've never used these consistently before. But seeing as I just had my period last week I felt safer about my skin not being hormonal.

For cleanser I went with Skin Laundry Skin Purifying Cream Cleanser to use with a hot cloth, this has been such a nice cleanser that I use morning and night. Does leave my skin a tiny bit dry but no weird residue on the face, perfect for absorbing the following layers.

Brought the last bit of my Pixi Glow Tonic I had in a 100ml bottle, which I've been loving and has been helping fade my pigmentation scars.

My serum of choice this trip was Skin Laundry Restoring Night Serum, again, something that has been working very well as my base layer. Feels very sticky and hydrating.

For moisturizer I have been using my new gem Calm Skin Hydrating 2 in 1 Serum & Moisturiser from Superdrug, it is soooo nice! I'm so pleased with this and can't believe how inexpensive it is, also vegan. Sinks in beautifully and doesn't react badly to my other layers.

And finally for my eye cream I went with my ridiculous Lucia Magnani Rejuvenating Eye Cream... I still don't know if it does anything more than my cheap £5 eye cream but it does feel very nice applying on the skin, like a balm and I really like that. I've also come to the conclusion that I would be totally OK spending a bit more on my eye cream from now on. Will absolutely never be over £50 I spend and buying this one is completely out of the question! But eye creams do last such a long time and again, I have no idea what it does other than make me feel a bit fancy for now.

Everything has been working well together, I'm not breaking out and I've been using make-up daily for over 10h a day. Always a bit of a pain not having your usual selection available for a daily tweak but it has been alright.

What's in my make-up bag, travel edition.

After quite a few challenging hours the day before travelling I managed to narrow down my collection to a very basic but not so boring make-up bag.

For my base face I kept it simple as I do at home as I can't stand a stiff or dry face. For my primer I packed Evelyniona (I think that's the brand) Green Tea Primer which I'm a big fan of. It's not going to alter the skin texture but it does help products stick on for longer. I don't particularly care for making my pore less visible or fill lines and whatever, I'm fine with all that but I do want my blush and colour corrector to stay on until I decide to take it off.
For colour correction I brought my trusty Essence Cosmetics Colour Correcting Liquid Concealer in Pastel Yellow, Camouflage Cream Concealer in Natural Beige and Dr. Pickles Miraculous Beauty Dust in Green Glow and Pink Glow.
And I absolutely had to bring my new Baby Blush Lip & Cheek Tint in Dolly Wink from Darling Girl Cosmetics which I'm so happy with! Finally, a setting spray by Essence Cosmetics I still don't know how I feel about.

For my eye base I brought Primped & Primed by Darling Girl Cosmetics. BarryM On Point Precision Eyeliner, Ere Perez Waterproof Mascara and Kiko Milano Moon Shadow in 04.

For lip care I'm using Dr. PawPaw's Original Balm.
Lipsticks I brought are Kat Von D Beauty Bauhau5, Notoriously Morbid liquid lipstick in Ethereal, Colour Pop Lippie To Go in Bound/Cami and finally the Darling Girl Cosmetics Lip & Cheek tint in Dolly Wink.

Bullet Journal: Part 1.

I've completely fallen for the concept of bullet journaling. Feels like I've tried every form of diary, calender, organizer, you name it, none of which have ever worked for me simply because of the restrictions. At the start of this year I finally dove into the world of bullet journaling and it has been nothing short of amazing. Surprised that it took me so long to discover... And a bit disappointed in myself for not looking into it sooner! 

For my first page I've chosen to not have an index as I don't see it useful for myself quite yet as a BuJo newbie. Instead I have a conversion table and a world map with time differences as those are two/three things I want to learn. Before that I have my period tracker. After a major scare last year I have been tracking my pains and moods so I have a better idea of what my body is up to.

On my third page I have my key, couldn't resist calling it my key stone. I have my monthly list of spreads I aim to keep going at the start of each new month.

A list of the make-up collaborations I'm hosting this year.

And a list of games I want to finish this year, a bit of a kick up my butt as I start games but refuse to finish them if I like them... It's the weirdest thing I do... Been doing that for as long as I can remember...

On my fourth page I have my goals for the year.

Also a little list of the make-up companies I'm allowing myself to buy stuff from this year as I will go completely crazy otherwise... A tiny bit of order to my madness and passion.

I've left spaces on these pages to allow myself see what feels right to me as this is my first time doing this whole thing.

For my weekly spread I don't have a set way of doing it yet as I'll have weeks of basically zero activity besides general chores which fit perfectly on a Post it and aren't time sensitive.

This week for example my week is a bit more than an actual week and my weeks will from now on start Friday's rather than Monday's as the husband has his "weekend" Wednesday and Thursday and I much rather spend all our free time together instead of me running around cleaning and not chilling with him.

That's how my current bullet journal is looking and I'm pretty damn happy with how it's coming along.

Do you use one?
I'm always looking for inspiration so share yours with me by tagging me on Instagram @cynthiaiskillikill ❤

Haul & first impressions: Darling Girl Cosmetics.

Yaaaaay!!!

So my Darling Girl Cosmetics (DGC) order arrived today!
I was so worried that I would have to go on my trip to South Africa without a primer! Now I can chill.

So, this is what I got for my first order

I ordered two primers, Primped & Primed and Embellished Eye Primer. I wasn't really going to order anything but a bunch of primers as I go through them quite quickly but, I couldn't resist trying a few other bits and put others on hold...
I got 4 loose shadows.
Get A Room, MILF: A yellowish mustard colour which was something I was missing in my collection.
Touched By Taboo, MILF: A light grass green.
Wicked Ways, MILF: A beautiful teal.
Laissez Led Bone Temps Rouler, Mardi Gras: Ugh, this is such a pretty shimmer!!! It has a light green shift, looks wet on application and I'm in love... I used this as a highlighter for today's look.
Finally I ordered a Baby Blush in the shade Dolly Wink.
This is such a pretty lip & cheek tint for pale skin. I'm kinda surprised I haven't seen this more because it's absolutely wonderful!!! Applies so effortless, stains well and smells yummy!
Slightly sad I didn't order the other ones but then again, have to try a few things to prevent disappointment.

I was also sent a GWP shadow which I didn't realize was a thing so yay! It's Coffee & Tears which basically describes what last week was for me... And then I also got a little zip lock baggy with a gorgeous blue shadow in called Beast.

Here's the look I made today using some of the products, full details can be found on my Instagram @cynthiaiskillikill

Super happy with my purchase.
The shadows are really nice and easy to build up.
The tint is moisturising and very easy to blend for that perfect flushed effect without that intense initial ugly stain some stains can cause. And super easy to navigate the website as it has proper filters such as VEGAN! YAY!

Choosing to accept my own body.

Accepting my own body now that I live a healthier life and actually eat rather than starve myself as I did in my teens into my early 20s has been quite a challenge.

As a child I was never slim, I was what you'd call "fuller" but not fat. I had a bit I could grab and that was it.
In my more self-conscious teens I started eating less food. I basically lived on candy... And from the age of 18 to about 21 I lived on an occasional pizza, booze and meal replacement meals because I was lazy. I looked what was considered attractive back then, slim, could wear ANY skimpy outfit without pouring over anywhere.

But that all changed quickly as that lifestyle made me seriously I'll. To this day I have a very strange relationship with alcohol, I was not far from becoming an alcoholic, addicted to not feel and to avoid any responsibilities and thoughts after being quite a depressed teen.

Fast forward to today, I'm the healthiest I've been in my life.
I have been on a very long journey to help my body work better and get the nutrients I need for a well running mind. As healthy as I am today, I do love my treats and am living a much more sedentary life compared to back when I was starving myself.
I really want to get stronger now rather than slimmer.
I'm conscious of my body and I dress a bit more appropriate for me to look my best.

I love my life right now, sure I have a few days every now and then that I feel a bit down about not being the slim vixen I used to be but realistically it's not hard getting there.

I'm constantly learning about my body.
I never knew there was so much to it before and it was an even bigger eye opener when I did a bit of amateur modelling a few years back. I was tracking what I ate, strictly 1200 calories a day. I lost a few kilos but nothing crazy as I was the biggest I had been in my life when I got married due to the big lifestyle change that had happened of not drinking and partying on almost a daily basis. And I ate food!!! But seeing yourself as someone else sees you is quite strange... I NEVER saw myself as a very feminine or sensual being, I've always known I'm not bad looking but it felt foreign to me for many years as I grew up as a tomboy not every getting any attention until my late teens.

My wardrobe today is something my 17 year old self would probably frown upon but that's OK. I much rather put on a tank top with baggy jeans over a mini skirt, high heels and a skimpy top. I'm not judging anyone who's comfortable in that type of clothing!!! It's just not me anymore.

I love treating myself.
And I love being healthy, treats aren't necessarily unhealthy treats. My view on food has changed big time since I went vegan. Now I'm all about balancing nutrients and a treat is an avocado on toast or a bowl of grapes, occasionally a bag of chips because I do not kid myself.

I look at my flubber around my body and I'm at peace with it. It's not going to be there forever, it's not that I mind it but it's also not how I see myself in myself. I want to be the best version of myself at all times but for now I'm simply happy with my not so perfect body. I also don't have a single piece of clothing I can't fit into, I refuse to torture myself and hold on to an image of myself I will never want to be part of again. Those jeans we "one day will get back into" serve as nothing more than a guilt trap. Find a healthy diet to suit you, stick to it and work from there.

Don't hold on to things you realistically don't want for yourself, it's OK to change. It's OK to gain a kg or 10. I weigh exactly 10 kgs more than I did during my starving period.

Just look after yourself.
Stay focused on what matters and what matters is being healthy for yourself and the people you love. There's nothing worse than realizing you were harming yourself because of a horrible diet... And it's really expensive in the long run! Health is the only thing we have genuine power over.

Anyhow, you get the jist of it by now I hope.
I'm off to make myself breakfast!

Take care. ❤