Lately something has started to click in me.
I've become very aware of my patterns of neglect and have begun to give myself a breather if I don't feel like doing whatever I wrote on my to-do list in the morning.
I'm allowing myself to do what I want in the moment without making myself feel bad. I just promise myself to get back to it when I have a better plan.
This has helped me so much with my anxiety, I can actually enjoy my days and focus on a few chores without feeling sick to my stomach for not mopping or cleaning the windows or whatever task that seems ridiculous to stress about in retrospective. I can just chill. This is so new to me... And I never saw how damaging my old ways were until now.
I'm working hard on being my own sound board.
Trying to give myself advice I'd give to someone I care about, which as stupid as it sounds, I wasn't.
I think we've all been there, telling a loved one not to be too hard on themselves, that things will be fine, just relax, take some time to reflect etc. But we never take our own advice, at least not until very recently.