Empties Winter 2017/2018.

Turns out I had way more empties than I expected...
So here's my giant post with mini reviews!

 By: Amie Skincare.

What is it: Cleansing water.
Will I repurchase: Not quite sure...
Why: I'm currently working through a stash of various cleansing waters and it will be a good few months before I even consider getting any more. I will however say that my current one doesn't clean as nicely as the AMIE one.

 By: Skin Laundry

What is it: Daily moisturiser with SPF
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: I didn't dislike the product but I didn't feel like it did anything out of the ordinary. I have tried so many drugstore alternatives with similar result and I'm frankly not ready to dish out more than £10 per 30ml unless it will do something more. And it isn't a physical sunscreen which is what I normally opt for.

 By: Pai

What is it: Calming Day Cream.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: Again, a product which didn't do anything for me. I have found a calming cream which works for me (featured in my travel skincare).

 By: Celle-x

What is it: Hydrating Face Cream.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: Didn't feel or see any difference in my skin... I have nothing bad to say about it, just wasn't for me.

 By: Good Stuff

What is it: Day Cream with SPF.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: Again, nothing special, SPF wasn't high enough for this part of the world and it was something I bought as a panic buy as I ran out of moisturiser... Can't say I'd even recommend it.

 By: Organic Surge

What is it: Deodorant
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: I'm still on my quest to find my perfect deodorant, this wasn't it. It wasn't horrible I just think I'm very much over liquid deodorants, I much more prefer solid ones.

 By: Never Cosmetics

What is it: Brightening Face Primer
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: I tried to make this work so hard... It just didn't like my face. I used half the tube before completely giving up... It would look patchy, peel, not quite set for a long time in certain areas and give me a weird colour.

 By: Lily Lolo

What is it: BB Cream
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: This was to start with too light for me, which was very surprising as I normally wear Fair as a shade. I made the colour work but the texture was a bit difficult to get even and it barely had any colour at all... Might try another shade at some point but for now I'm fine.

 By: Bamford

What is it: Hand and Body Wash.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: I can't see myself bothering with liquid body soap to be honest... I've been a solid soap lover for years and I have so many wonderful brands I love.

 By: Pai

What is it: Hand Cream.
Will I repurchase: Yes.
Why: This is the first hand cream in many, many years I've loved. I don't use hand cream but I will absolutely start using this one! It smells lovely and leaves the hands instantly hydrated.

 By: Sunday Riley

What is it: Moisturiser.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: I was so ready to be blown away... This was a very underwhelming cream. I got close to three weeks use out of this tiny tub which was impressive but the product didn't do anything for me.

 By: Southern Comforts Fragrance.

What is it: Rollerball Perfume.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: It was limited edition!!! This was the first one I finishes, I made sure to get a second one as it is amazing!!! My heart breaks a bit thinking about going on with my life without this magical, comforting fragrance...

 By: Funk Soap

What is it: Vanilla Lip Balm.
Will I repurchase: Yes.
Why: These balms are wonderful. I even scraped the inside after the picture was taken...

 By: Notoriously Morbid Cosmetics.

What is it: Lip Salve/Mask.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: It's not vegan. I absolutely love the product, I'd highly recommend it to anyone who is OK with beeswax.
It does a wonderful job.

 By: Zodiac Killer Cosmetics

What is it: Eyeshadow primer.
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: I used to absolutely love this but I think it might just have gotten a bit too dry... I am still trying primers to find my favorite primer but this one wasn't it, close but not quite.

 By: Concrete Minerals

What is it: Eyeshadows
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: I have gone through two pots of Confessions now and I feel like I want to see what's out there... Risqué wasn't what I was expecting. It wasn't a true red, it blended out too pink for my liking.

 By: Dirty Hippie Cosmetics

What is it: Mineral Concealer.
Will I repurchase: yes.
Why: I love this formula, I was actually using it as a foundation most of the time. It's dewy, not too oily and it doesn't feel heavy on the skin. Light coverage.

 By: Dirty Hippie Cosmetics

What is it: Lip & Cheek Tint.
Will I repurchase: Yes.
Why: I love this product, it was a wonderful little trick to getting the perfect looking glass skin. I used it as an eye gloss, lip gloss, cheek gloss and it's so easy to mix with pigments... Makes a beaming highlight!

 By: My Pretty Zombie Cosmetics.

What is it: Beauty Powder
Will I repurchase: Yes.
Why: This made my skin look amazing!!!

 By: Espionage Cosmetics

What is it: Loose Eyeshadow
Will I repurchase: No.
Why: It doesn't exist anymore!!! It was the first shadow I ever bought from EC and it was my absolute favorite daily liner pigment... You'll be missed vault hunter...

 By: Dirty Hippie Cosmetics

What is it: Highlighter and Bronzer.
Will I repurchase: Yes.
Why: These are so flattering. Love them both.

By: Dirty Hippie Cosmetics
What is it: Eye shadow
Will I repurchase: Yes.
Why: I'm surprised I managed to get through a whole 5g of black eye shadow!!! I did like this but for now I don't plan on buying it as I have loads of others to get through. It's in my top 2 of blackest eye shadows ever used.

Bullet Journal Part 2 + Stationery Haul: April.

Good day my fellow BuJo lovers!

I have to give myself a pat on my back for being so consistent with my journaling for the past three months. It really has helped me manage anxiety and stress.

Here's my April spread.

My April main page: I chose to add a mantra this month as I've been reading into it lately and this spoke to me. Below my April title I have a few hearts my niece made for me where I'll put important dates such as birthdays for this month. On the second page I have my goals for the month, which I'm still working on, my social media plan/ideas and finally my workout tracker.

On my third page I have my expenses and a narrow list of future expenses to keep myself from treating myself too hard! Next page is my food and mood page, I'm very much ruled by my belly and I like knowing what I've had so I can pinpoint anything that might cause problems. Labelling on food products aren't the best in this country so I have to make a bit of an effort when buying new things or eating out... A gamble for a lactose intolerant vegan.

My weekly planner. Not much to say about this really... Made a pretty flower to fill up some space. I don't always do a weekly planner with tasks for each day but this week I need it.

I've also updated my 2018 spread with a little "things I want" and "important savings" (one of which I had to censor to avoid the person it relates to seeing it!
Other than that I'm happy with the layout and still have a but of space to use as the year progresses for whatever else might come up.

Random Haul!

While I was in South Africa getting all my yearly checks done I went to a few stationery shops. I was expecting to find a lot more but still managed to find a few good bits.

I got myself a set of Stabilo Pastel Highlighters, which I've been using a lot. A set of Stabilo Pastel Fiber-Tip pens, I still haven't managed to master these, I keep making them bleed through the pages... And I know they shouldn't... Definitely need a lighter hand with these, I'm so out of practice in general with my handwriting. Also got a pack of CNA (the store I bought these) Pastel Gel Pens, which I've been loving! They feel a lot more neon but I'm not complaining. A scribbling tablet/pad which I have been enjoying as a base for when I use pens I know will bleed, the I just glue the page into my bullet journal. Oh! And a stencil! I was so excited to find this! I keep forgetting about it though, need to just leave it on the center of my desk... Or something.

And finally when I got back, I got myself a few black pens.
I really struggled finding what I wanted in the stores I visited in South Africa so when I got back I was so fed up that I just went with the traditional types. I will have to do some online shopping in a couple of months for what I want... I really do miss the big bookstores I used to have in Sweden where you had testers out to try on your paper... Oh how I look forward to my trip there early next year.

Anyhow!
So that's it for now.
Feel free to tag me in your bullet journal posts and hauls @cynthiaiskillikill on Instagram and @Cynthiaiskilli on Twitter! I love it all! Also feel free to recommend any cool things... Haha. Specific ey?

Travel skincare.

Travelling always makes me break out and gets my skin completely out of balance which makes packing a couple of things difficult. I get an extra greasy t-zone, itchy dry cheeks and chin, small irritated bumps...

It felt like a bit of a gamble making these choices as I've never used these consistently before. But seeing as I just had my period last week I felt safer about my skin not being hormonal.

For cleanser I went with Skin Laundry Skin Purifying Cream Cleanser to use with a hot cloth, this has been such a nice cleanser that I use morning and night. Does leave my skin a tiny bit dry but no weird residue on the face, perfect for absorbing the following layers.

Brought the last bit of my Pixi Glow Tonic I had in a 100ml bottle, which I've been loving and has been helping fade my pigmentation scars.

My serum of choice this trip was Skin Laundry Restoring Night Serum, again, something that has been working very well as my base layer. Feels very sticky and hydrating.

For moisturizer I have been using my new gem Calm Skin Hydrating 2 in 1 Serum & Moisturiser from Superdrug, it is soooo nice! I'm so pleased with this and can't believe how inexpensive it is, also vegan. Sinks in beautifully and doesn't react badly to my other layers.

And finally for my eye cream I went with my ridiculous Lucia Magnani Rejuvenating Eye Cream... I still don't know if it does anything more than my cheap £5 eye cream but it does feel very nice applying on the skin, like a balm and I really like that. I've also come to the conclusion that I would be totally OK spending a bit more on my eye cream from now on. Will absolutely never be over £50 I spend and buying this one is completely out of the question! But eye creams do last such a long time and again, I have no idea what it does other than make me feel a bit fancy for now.

Everything has been working well together, I'm not breaking out and I've been using make-up daily for over 10h a day. Always a bit of a pain not having your usual selection available for a daily tweak but it has been alright.

What's in my make-up bag, travel edition.

After quite a few challenging hours the day before travelling I managed to narrow down my collection to a very basic but not so boring make-up bag.

For my base face I kept it simple as I do at home as I can't stand a stiff or dry face. For my primer I packed Evelyniona (I think that's the brand) Green Tea Primer which I'm a big fan of. It's not going to alter the skin texture but it does help products stick on for longer. I don't particularly care for making my pore less visible or fill lines and whatever, I'm fine with all that but I do want my blush and colour corrector to stay on until I decide to take it off.
For colour correction I brought my trusty Essence Cosmetics Colour Correcting Liquid Concealer in Pastel Yellow, Camouflage Cream Concealer in Natural Beige and Dr. Pickles Miraculous Beauty Dust in Green Glow and Pink Glow.
And I absolutely had to bring my new Baby Blush Lip & Cheek Tint in Dolly Wink from Darling Girl Cosmetics which I'm so happy with! Finally, a setting spray by Essence Cosmetics I still don't know how I feel about.

For my eye base I brought Primped & Primed by Darling Girl Cosmetics. BarryM On Point Precision Eyeliner, Ere Perez Waterproof Mascara and Kiko Milano Moon Shadow in 04.

For lip care I'm using Dr. PawPaw's Original Balm.
Lipsticks I brought are Kat Von D Beauty Bauhau5, Notoriously Morbid liquid lipstick in Ethereal, Colour Pop Lippie To Go in Bound/Cami and finally the Darling Girl Cosmetics Lip & Cheek tint in Dolly Wink.

Bullet Journal: Part 1.

I've completely fallen for the concept of bullet journaling. Feels like I've tried every form of diary, calender, organizer, you name it, none of which have ever worked for me simply because of the restrictions. At the start of this year I finally dove into the world of bullet journaling and it has been nothing short of amazing. Surprised that it took me so long to discover... And a bit disappointed in myself for not looking into it sooner! 

For my first page I've chosen to not have an index as I don't see it useful for myself quite yet as a BuJo newbie. Instead I have a conversion table and a world map with time differences as those are two/three things I want to learn. Before that I have my period tracker. After a major scare last year I have been tracking my pains and moods so I have a better idea of what my body is up to.

On my third page I have my key, couldn't resist calling it my key stone. I have my monthly list of spreads I aim to keep going at the start of each new month.

A list of the make-up collaborations I'm hosting this year.

And a list of games I want to finish this year, a bit of a kick up my butt as I start games but refuse to finish them if I like them... It's the weirdest thing I do... Been doing that for as long as I can remember...

On my fourth page I have my goals for the year.

Also a little list of the make-up companies I'm allowing myself to buy stuff from this year as I will go completely crazy otherwise... A tiny bit of order to my madness and passion.

I've left spaces on these pages to allow myself see what feels right to me as this is my first time doing this whole thing.

For my weekly spread I don't have a set way of doing it yet as I'll have weeks of basically zero activity besides general chores which fit perfectly on a Post it and aren't time sensitive.

This week for example my week is a bit more than an actual week and my weeks will from now on start Friday's rather than Monday's as the husband has his "weekend" Wednesday and Thursday and I much rather spend all our free time together instead of me running around cleaning and not chilling with him.

That's how my current bullet journal is looking and I'm pretty damn happy with how it's coming along.

Do you use one?
I'm always looking for inspiration so share yours with me by tagging me on Instagram @cynthiaiskillikill ❤

Haul & first impressions: Darling Girl Cosmetics.

Yaaaaay!!!

So my Darling Girl Cosmetics (DGC) order arrived today!
I was so worried that I would have to go on my trip to South Africa without a primer! Now I can chill.

So, this is what I got for my first order

I ordered two primers, Primped & Primed and Embellished Eye Primer. I wasn't really going to order anything but a bunch of primers as I go through them quite quickly but, I couldn't resist trying a few other bits and put others on hold...
I got 4 loose shadows.
Get A Room, MILF: A yellowish mustard colour which was something I was missing in my collection.
Touched By Taboo, MILF: A light grass green.
Wicked Ways, MILF: A beautiful teal.
Laissez Led Bone Temps Rouler, Mardi Gras: Ugh, this is such a pretty shimmer!!! It has a light green shift, looks wet on application and I'm in love... I used this as a highlighter for today's look.
Finally I ordered a Baby Blush in the shade Dolly Wink.
This is such a pretty lip & cheek tint for pale skin. I'm kinda surprised I haven't seen this more because it's absolutely wonderful!!! Applies so effortless, stains well and smells yummy!
Slightly sad I didn't order the other ones but then again, have to try a few things to prevent disappointment.

I was also sent a GWP shadow which I didn't realize was a thing so yay! It's Coffee & Tears which basically describes what last week was for me... And then I also got a little zip lock baggy with a gorgeous blue shadow in called Beast.

Here's the look I made today using some of the products, full details can be found on my Instagram @cynthiaiskillikill

Super happy with my purchase.
The shadows are really nice and easy to build up.
The tint is moisturising and very easy to blend for that perfect flushed effect without that intense initial ugly stain some stains can cause. And super easy to navigate the website as it has proper filters such as VEGAN! YAY!

Choosing to accept my own body.

Accepting my own body now that I live a healthier life and actually eat rather than starve myself as I did in my teens into my early 20s has been quite a challenge.

As a child I was never slim, I was what you'd call "fuller" but not fat. I had a bit I could grab and that was it.
In my more self-conscious teens I started eating less food. I basically lived on candy... And from the age of 18 to about 21 I lived on an occasional pizza, booze and meal replacement meals because I was lazy. I looked what was considered attractive back then, slim, could wear ANY skimpy outfit without pouring over anywhere.

But that all changed quickly as that lifestyle made me seriously I'll. To this day I have a very strange relationship with alcohol, I was not far from becoming an alcoholic, addicted to not feel and to avoid any responsibilities and thoughts after being quite a depressed teen.

Fast forward to today, I'm the healthiest I've been in my life.
I have been on a very long journey to help my body work better and get the nutrients I need for a well running mind. As healthy as I am today, I do love my treats and am living a much more sedentary life compared to back when I was starving myself.
I really want to get stronger now rather than slimmer.
I'm conscious of my body and I dress a bit more appropriate for me to look my best.

I love my life right now, sure I have a few days every now and then that I feel a bit down about not being the slim vixen I used to be but realistically it's not hard getting there.

I'm constantly learning about my body.
I never knew there was so much to it before and it was an even bigger eye opener when I did a bit of amateur modelling a few years back. I was tracking what I ate, strictly 1200 calories a day. I lost a few kilos but nothing crazy as I was the biggest I had been in my life when I got married due to the big lifestyle change that had happened of not drinking and partying on almost a daily basis. And I ate food!!! But seeing yourself as someone else sees you is quite strange... I NEVER saw myself as a very feminine or sensual being, I've always known I'm not bad looking but it felt foreign to me for many years as I grew up as a tomboy not every getting any attention until my late teens.

My wardrobe today is something my 17 year old self would probably frown upon but that's OK. I much rather put on a tank top with baggy jeans over a mini skirt, high heels and a skimpy top. I'm not judging anyone who's comfortable in that type of clothing!!! It's just not me anymore.

I love treating myself.
And I love being healthy, treats aren't necessarily unhealthy treats. My view on food has changed big time since I went vegan. Now I'm all about balancing nutrients and a treat is an avocado on toast or a bowl of grapes, occasionally a bag of chips because I do not kid myself.

I look at my flubber around my body and I'm at peace with it. It's not going to be there forever, it's not that I mind it but it's also not how I see myself in myself. I want to be the best version of myself at all times but for now I'm simply happy with my not so perfect body. I also don't have a single piece of clothing I can't fit into, I refuse to torture myself and hold on to an image of myself I will never want to be part of again. Those jeans we "one day will get back into" serve as nothing more than a guilt trap. Find a healthy diet to suit you, stick to it and work from there.

Don't hold on to things you realistically don't want for yourself, it's OK to change. It's OK to gain a kg or 10. I weigh exactly 10 kgs more than I did during my starving period.

Just look after yourself.
Stay focused on what matters and what matters is being healthy for yourself and the people you love. There's nothing worse than realizing you were harming yourself because of a horrible diet... And it's really expensive in the long run! Health is the only thing we have genuine power over.

Anyhow, you get the jist of it by now I hope.
I'm off to make myself breakfast!

Take care. ❤

Fashion: Fashion Week RTW Fall 2018 Favorites.

This was the first Fashion Week ever to catch me by surprise, I completely forgot it was a thing and to be honest I don't even know what day it is as I write this... There wasn't much to catch my attention as I went through what had been shown and I think a lot has to do with my commitment to buying and wanting to waste less as well as being vegan.

I do want to point out that I'm aware of a lot of houses still use fur and leather among other animal materials, this is in no way me promoting that side of the industry. I'm just genuinely passionate about fashion. I love designs, I love the runways, I love textures, the innovations, the way it makes me feel and how it makes me tingle inside when seeing my favorite designers work super styled on the best models. To me fashion is like eating... It's feast to my senses. But again, cruelty and abuse belongs in the past, EVERYTHING, can now be made without cruelty and slave labor. Slow, ethical fashion IS the future and I'm very much looking forward to it being mainstream rather than the mindless numb consumption which dominates and drives the continued slave fashion trade... Always check your labels before buying...

The first fashion house to make my heart feel "want" was Max Mara during Milan Fashion Week. I could see myself wearing 90% of what was seen on the runway, which is incredibly unusual.
I loved the androgynous feel and I am a sucker for a high marked waist which was what dominated this collection.
I also want to point out diversity, I think it was one of the most beautiful runways simply because of the ethnic diversity and how some models even used head wraps/hijab. Major credit for inclusion which gave it all a much more modern feel and also probably why I ended up feeling like I could see myself in so much of the collection. I grew up following Fashion Week since before I knew how to read and I have never felt this way before and perhaps it's also because of my new found "even if I look like a sausage, I don't give a shit what people think" attitude.

In general, as you will see, I'm all about comfortable fashion.
I like things I can see myself wearing to lunch, dinner and for a night out with the right accessories. I love loose pants or tops, a bit of sparkle and lots of textures. A good core wardrobe with a few stand out pieces is what I'm currently working towards and the following runways had lots of things I absolutely want... One day... Below are some of my persona favorites, there wasn't many things to be honest. There was a few bits from some other fashion houses but nothing I'd consider practical or worth using more than a handful of times. But again, it's my new mentality of wasting less and only keeping things I will use playing a big part in my narrow selection.

Max Mara:

 

 

Alberta Ferretti:

 

 

Genny:

 

 

Haul & Review: Baby Bat Beauty.

About a year ago I won a random giveaway hosted by Baby Bat Beauty. I received the whole liquid lipstick collection which back then consisted of 7 shades. Since then BBB has exploded!

After not really having a good excuse for ordering I gave in during one of the crazy sales she had around Black Friday. As per usual it took a while for my items to arrive to the other side of the world where I live.

My order:
A tiny mirror which I desperately needed as I don't use any type of compacts.
Two lip balms which I am yet to use as I only open new ones once I've finished one. Flavors: Marshmallow Delight and Piña Colada Paradise... Which gave me a few boozy flashbacks, definitely smells like the drink mix.
My first ever gel eyeliner!!! Shade Enchantress which is a black.
Four lipsticks in the shades top to bottom: Devious, Lawless, Unwrapped and Exposed.

Top to bottom: Devious, Lawless, Unwrapped and Exposed.

I was quite surprised when I received these, two of the shades (Lawless and Exposed) I got felt very thin and applied streaky. I do think I got two odd ones as I did get in touch with the company to ask if they had changed the formula and they haven't. They also haven't received any complaints prior to me messaging about this issue, I was offered to get them replaced but I honestly don't need it. I did buy Exposed purely for mixing with other lipsticks to make them lighter.
It is however a shame that the Lawless I got is such a difficult shade to work with but it seems to be a universally hard shade to make without being streaky. I have four other similar corals from various brands (liquid and in bullet) and they are all streaky/patchy... And before anyone comes for me, I know how to make lipstick work, alrighty? Mmmmkay!?!

Anyhow.
Lawless is gorgeous, just have to apply it thinly, blott and apply a thin layer again as it does look a bit dry if applied to thick, as most liquid lipsticks do.

The stars were definitely Devious, which I have worn A LOT and Unwrapped, which is a my lips but better. I love these two. I don't wear Unwrapped nearly as much as I'd like to for the simple reason that it washes me out if I wear it on it's own, I need a full face of make-up to pull off this nude.
Devious on the other hand is one of those shades I slap on and instantly look and feel like I've put in way more effort than I actually have. For me it lifts my complexion and looks more purple than it does in this picture.

The eyeliner is pleasant, doesn't crust or flake which is a win in my book. Mine did arrive a bit dry but I simply scraped the top layer of and it was good to go. It is a bit of a gamble for me to order things during this time of the year when temperatures are high and things have to sit in warm offices, moved in warm trucks then to sit in yet another warm office for sorting... My lip balms did arrive melted, which wasn't unexpected, it was just not a good time of the year for me to order things which can change in warmer weather.

But that's it folks!
Also let me know if you have tried any nice opaque coral lipsticks! I'm too stubborn to let it slip.